I Once Caught a Fish This Big!

We've all heard the story from a friend, no doubt, of some ridiculously unbelievable event that allegedly occurred. Perhaps you were all sitting around, casually talking, when someone began to share a story something like this:

"Last week, I went fishing with my dad, and I couldn't believe it! I caught a 5 pound snapper!" Then the other friend chimes in.

"Well, last month, I went fishing with my uncle, you know, the one who owns a yacht. Well, I caught a sword fish! I had to throw it back because it wasn't sword fish season and we didn't bring the big ice chest on this trip."

What do we typically think of those people? You know the ones. Those people who always have to one-up you. How do we really feel about them? No one likes being around those people. You don't want to share anything with them or even around them because they are so destructively competitive it's annoying.

One of the greatest temptations and mistakes that you can make after a divorce is to try and one-up your ex. You'll find yourself dating, buying, acting, and possibly even marrying in a manner that implies you are racing against her. You want to be the first to move on to a new relationship, so you start dating the first person that show you any attention. You don't want to find out that she's sleeping around, so you start sleeping around with other women, just so you can have a bigger, better story to tell. You buy things and eat at restaurants that are out of character for you, but you can't be the one who appears to be worse off and somehow behind. So what do you do? You do everything you can think to do to make sure you're first for everything. You want to prove something to her; you want to prove that you're just fine and in some ways better off now that she's gone. And you want to be the first to show her and others that you are okay. So you ultimately end up marrying someone else so that you can be the first to remarry.

Don't get caught up in this ridiculous game. Resist the temptation to one up your ex. Take your time. Some races are just not worth winning. Slow down and completely process information. You'll be so much happier you did.